This isn’t the space that I’d want be writing in* but I think somehow that stands metaphorically with my 20s.
Maybe I live in my own absurd matrix of the times but damn it’s this such a vulnerable time to be alive: in your 20s. Everything feels fickle, and it kind of is. Walking into a real understanding that everything is ever-changing, situations, circumstances, people.
Also walking into a real understanding that a lot of what we feel or struggle with is rooted in child. Our childhood self. What we loved, what we hated, what we saw or heard and how we internalized that into self, ourself.
Cause now as adults it becomes what we allow and what we don’t allow, when we feel fulfilled or when we feel depleted, and habits that are so ingrained in us that it takes being really involved with another person (platonic, romantic, what have you) to see ourselves.
Maybe not clearly.
But we see ourselves, whether it’s a version of ourselves, a fixated image of ourselves, or one’s perception of ourselves.
And there can be a lot of ugly there, sometimes.
There’s also a lot of divinity in your/our 20s.
Lately I’ve been sitting and pondering on taking actions to relocate. Call it one last go around to shift and shake my life up, but the difference is this is something actually of my control.
I’ve been sitting in the knowing and understanding that the power is within me. Not my circumstances, situations, or people.
No matter how near and dear or how dreadfully painfully those things are. There is absolutely nothing wrong in choosing to take control of your life and flip the entire script, status quo, whatever!
There is absolutely nothing wrong in choosing to take control of your life.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing whatever it is that resonates with the betterment of you.
I think I, maybe even we collectively, forget that sometimes. And we stay stagnant in what we know.
Or stagnant for comfort.
I still fall victim to it.
But I’ll be damned if I don’t wake up and try to shift my culture, on some get up and buck up, we not going backwards, no sir, no ma’am!
(sorry, the poet in me jumped out)
Another thing is not apologizing for being ourselves! (But I haven’t maneuvered that yet so I’ll just gracefully stop here.)
Titling this: One month into 25.
*iphone notes drafted, i miss my pc: 1st world problems