Trying to Actively Remember:

It scares me when I can’t remember moments of us

Pieces of your face

The details of your eyes

The curves of your smile

It scares the shit out of me

A slight panic begins to erupt in me

And my throats instantly feels like it’s closing in on itself

But then i remind myself that there’s no way I can’t remember all of you

I’ve had 22 years of you

So maybe I can’t see it today, but maybe tomorrow.

Memories don’t die, at least not that quickly

I miss you

I miss the curves of ur smile

I miss the subtle goofy banter

And all the times i asked questions that you couldn’t bare to answer

I miss experiencing things with you

I don’t miss seeing you in pain

And that’s just part of the truth of this whole reality

To have you here, is to watch you suffer

To call you from the heavens feels like the only right way right now momma

May 18, 2020

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